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Random thoughts

Why is it when your trying to strive for something all the nay sayer's tend to lift their heads. But once you arrive at that point in your life they come back only to say I told you that you would make it. Left alone with no support from the majority but there are those few needles in a hay stack that stand by your side.

Since when were we granted the right to judge one as to who they will become and where they will be in life. Often those that have a lot to say are the ones that aren't trying to further their lives but hold back yours. Whatever happened to lending an helping hand because you could help someone out and not look for anything in return. Now days people don't want to help you unless they can get something out of the deal. So the saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" has a new meaning. Now it's "I will do unto you as long as you can give me something back."


Most call me nonsocial but I see it as being around those that are able to add value to my life and not take it away. If I am always giving and you are always taking this is not equaling out one of us keep coming up short. People if your going to do something nice for someone do it out the kindness of your heart and not because you later want to throw it back in their faces. I had an individual so something I thought was just the sweetest thing a person could do for someone only to later find out how much they hate that they did it. You never know how a person will feel or react, so please do whatever it is with sincere intentions.

These are just some things I've noticed about the nation we have become far from morals and values. Selfishness runs ramped in this new society I use my own experiences to get a point across even though so many of us face these challenges often.

Being there for me

I find myself lying in bed feeling under the weather yearning for the love of ones mother when they are sick. Yet i don't have the pleasure of having that comfort of such love. Feeling lonely but realizing I'm not alone for my heavenly father is here by my side watching over me in a way not even my mother could.

Lately I have come to the reality that its me for myself sick or well it is only me that I have to rely on. If there is someone else living in the house with me and they do not or doesn't know how to take care of me do I have the right to be mad. In my eyes I say no for they have the right not to and to do as they please.

But I also have the right to want to be around that someone that will do those things for me as I for them. Coming to grips with the fact that I only have me regardless to who I do or do not live with I have to take responsibility for me no one else has to.
So I continue to search for that inner peace of know when push comes to shove it is me and only me. Fixing my food, washing my clothes and taking care of me. I am the one responsible for paying my bills staying focused on my dreams and not allowing anything or anyone to deter me from doing what needs to be done.

If by chance we began to stop blaming other for not doing what it is we feel they need to do and allow them to do as they may just think of all the stress we will let go of. Whatever it is that this individual is doing that you don't agree with remove yourself from them and surround yourself with people that are willing to do these things.

Learn to be there for yourself and stop waiting for others to be there for you.

Blame

Listen if your in a situation your in because of the bad choices you've made then change the way you do things. Stop blaming everyone else for your mistakes and take responsibility for your actions. You have no right to force upon an innocent person fault for your indiscretions. Why would you kick the one person that tried to steer you in the right direction in the face. Yet the one that stabbed you in the back you give them praise and love. Most wonder why good people turn out to become bad people and it's due to others mistreating them. But with that being said what kind of person will treat a good person so cruel?

These are just some of the thoughts I've had in dealing with selfish people. Ones that no matter how good they have it they just have to have better, never satisfied. I also learned that no matter how great or good you are to them selfish people will find a way to make you feel like your incompetent. So never lose sight of who they are or who you are. Trust me you will always be the blame of everything that has and will go wrong.

God is good

Despite all of the negative I have seen and been through god continues to bless me. Most of the time it seems as if we aren't going to make it through but with faith and love we arrive. How is it that hell can bring so much peace and love?

Often I say keep the faith and know when its not your battle to fight allow god to do what is is destined to do so that it may turn out for your good and give him all the glory and praise. Remember faith without works is dead so know what it is you need to do in order for god to do what is needed of him. I know its easier said than done when we say "let go and let god." There comes a time in our lives that we have to and not worry about what others may think or say about what it is that we are doing.

Believe in the person that you were created to be and move forward in this journey called life. I hope I was able to motivate and uplift someone this morning. Be blessed and be a blessing.

Lost inside the world

As I sit and visualize the things that are going on around me

I often get lost in the evils of jealousy and envy

I try my best to pretend as if I’m just walking down an unknown street

Often unable to find a way out as if I’m in bondage

Temptations of wrong doings will come my way unable to focus on me

The things I see every day are familiar yet so strange

It’s like sitting in a room fill of oxygen yet unable to breathe

Are even sitting in a room fill with light still unable to see

Or a heart fill with love but unable to love

Arms to hold you yet unable to hold you

Legs to stand yet unable to stand

To get lost in ones mind unable to think

With the ability to heal by the touch yet you still live wounded

Having a piece of mind with no peace

As I walked down the street I stumbled but there was nothing in my way

It was that I failed to realize I was getting in my own way

Taking steps forward yet I still look back

Only to throw my whole life off track

Not too proud to ask for help

But when I do coldness is all I felt

See if I messaged your back you’ll stab me in mine

Absurdly with you honesty and truth was a waste of time

Looking through the windows of my mind trying to get the goodness you see

As you take my kindness for weakness and use it against me

Unable to control the things that I can’t change

Seems like the harder I try the more things remain the same

Loosing the battle of my inner spirits so I settle for less

This is my testimony at it’s best this I must confess

Walking alone without man I often feel like a little girl

Without the ability to concentrate I got lost inside the world

Shadows of your past

why should i live in the shadows of your past
am I less or more than that i can't focus or grasp
who i am or should be
lost in what was or use to be
the shadows creates ugly overcasts
of thr present future because of your past
so i will move forward and do what i have to
i can live with you
while the shadows of your past
sits in my lap and laugh
but its cool

cause time will tell and love will rule.