Being there for me

I find myself lying in bed feeling under the weather yearning for the love of ones mother when they are sick. Yet i don't have the pleasure of having that comfort of such love. Feeling lonely but realizing I'm not alone for my heavenly father is here by my side watching over me in a way not even my mother could.

Lately I have come to the reality that its me for myself sick or well it is only me that I have to rely on. If there is someone else living in the house with me and they do not or doesn't know how to take care of me do I have the right to be mad. In my eyes I say no for they have the right not to and to do as they please.

But I also have the right to want to be around that someone that will do those things for me as I for them. Coming to grips with the fact that I only have me regardless to who I do or do not live with I have to take responsibility for me no one else has to.
So I continue to search for that inner peace of know when push comes to shove it is me and only me. Fixing my food, washing my clothes and taking care of me. I am the one responsible for paying my bills staying focused on my dreams and not allowing anything or anyone to deter me from doing what needs to be done.

If by chance we began to stop blaming other for not doing what it is we feel they need to do and allow them to do as they may just think of all the stress we will let go of. Whatever it is that this individual is doing that you don't agree with remove yourself from them and surround yourself with people that are willing to do these things.

Learn to be there for yourself and stop waiting for others to be there for you.

Blame

Listen if your in a situation your in because of the bad choices you've made then change the way you do things. Stop blaming everyone else for your mistakes and take responsibility for your actions. You have no right to force upon an innocent person fault for your indiscretions. Why would you kick the one person that tried to steer you in the right direction in the face. Yet the one that stabbed you in the back you give them praise and love. Most wonder why good people turn out to become bad people and it's due to others mistreating them. But with that being said what kind of person will treat a good person so cruel?

These are just some of the thoughts I've had in dealing with selfish people. Ones that no matter how good they have it they just have to have better, never satisfied. I also learned that no matter how great or good you are to them selfish people will find a way to make you feel like your incompetent. So never lose sight of who they are or who you are. Trust me you will always be the blame of everything that has and will go wrong.

God is good

Despite all of the negative I have seen and been through god continues to bless me. Most of the time it seems as if we aren't going to make it through but with faith and love we arrive. How is it that hell can bring so much peace and love?

Often I say keep the faith and know when its not your battle to fight allow god to do what is is destined to do so that it may turn out for your good and give him all the glory and praise. Remember faith without works is dead so know what it is you need to do in order for god to do what is needed of him. I know its easier said than done when we say "let go and let god." There comes a time in our lives that we have to and not worry about what others may think or say about what it is that we are doing.

Believe in the person that you were created to be and move forward in this journey called life. I hope I was able to motivate and uplift someone this morning. Be blessed and be a blessing.

Lost inside the world

As I sit and visualize the things that are going on around me

I often get lost in the evils of jealousy and envy

I try my best to pretend as if I’m just walking down an unknown street

Often unable to find a way out as if I’m in bondage

Temptations of wrong doings will come my way unable to focus on me

The things I see every day are familiar yet so strange

It’s like sitting in a room fill of oxygen yet unable to breathe

Are even sitting in a room fill with light still unable to see

Or a heart fill with love but unable to love

Arms to hold you yet unable to hold you

Legs to stand yet unable to stand

To get lost in ones mind unable to think

With the ability to heal by the touch yet you still live wounded

Having a piece of mind with no peace

As I walked down the street I stumbled but there was nothing in my way

It was that I failed to realize I was getting in my own way

Taking steps forward yet I still look back

Only to throw my whole life off track

Not too proud to ask for help

But when I do coldness is all I felt

See if I messaged your back you’ll stab me in mine

Absurdly with you honesty and truth was a waste of time

Looking through the windows of my mind trying to get the goodness you see

As you take my kindness for weakness and use it against me

Unable to control the things that I can’t change

Seems like the harder I try the more things remain the same

Loosing the battle of my inner spirits so I settle for less

This is my testimony at it’s best this I must confess

Walking alone without man I often feel like a little girl

Without the ability to concentrate I got lost inside the world

Shadows of your past

why should i live in the shadows of your past
am I less or more than that i can't focus or grasp
who i am or should be
lost in what was or use to be
the shadows creates ugly overcasts
of thr present future because of your past
so i will move forward and do what i have to
i can live with you
while the shadows of your past
sits in my lap and laugh
but its cool

cause time will tell and love will rule.

Past

Tell me if I hold on to my past can I expect my present to have a future? People why even start a new relationship when you have yet to give up on your past one? You take baggage of one relationship and add it to the next one and so on and so forth. Learn how to be fair to the person you so claim you love. Don't take away from the person who loves you to their dreams because of your selfish ways.

"My love for you can never be selfish."

"This is called true love"

We need to learn how to get out of our own selfish ways to see others enjoy the same things that we have already had a chance to be blessed with. What kind of person am I to block you of your dreams because I don't like the way my dream came to pass? How can I say I want to spend my life with you when I clinch tight to what I had in the past. I can't seem to grab hold of the things that are of today because my hands are full of yesterday.

So all I have to say to those who feel like their future are being dimmed because the one they love holds their past so dear to heart. These are the times when we must learn to live, love and accept what has gone on enough to let go.

"Let go and let God."

Starting over can be scary.

"So believe in you"

Family ties

I can remember the times when family was the one that had your back and would never let you fall. What happened to those times now days its family who's causing all the heartache and pains. So when is enough ENOUGH? Shouldn't it be that because you are older than me that you should be teaching me right from wrong and not showing me everything that is of no good to me?

It's time we stop employing the destructive behaviors of those that are close to use even though we love them dearly. Often giving so much of you to others you leave nothing to give to yourself. Why must we neglect our self for those we see don't want anything better than what's in front of them at that moment. Never allow anyone to deter you from the path in which you were destined to walk. You can't live the lives of everyone so at what point will you learn to love them and let go and allow god to take over where you have to stop?

I'm not by any means telling you to turn your back on your family, friends or loved ones. What I am saying is that you can only live the life that you have and not the life of others. If I see you going down the wrong path all I can do is give you advice as to what you should do I can't make the decision for you. Not all ties are good some you have to cut loose. If you have someone in your life that always allow your light to shine those are the people you need to keep but if they are always taking from you and never giving then those are the ones you need to let be. Move forward and move on.